Trusting God When Dreams Die

Do you remember the old cartoons where the coyote paints a mural of the road on a brick wall and then ends up running smack dab into the middle of the wall? Like this:

That’s about the feeling when a dream dies. You’re heading full-speed toward the road that seems paved just for you, and then you’re slammed to a stop.

Three people in particular come to mind when I think of those who have very recently been forced to discard a dream and are now wrestling with what life looks like after running into that wall. There are probably more people out there who feel this way that I don’t know about, too.

Photo credit: drubuntu (Creative Commons)

Do you feel achy and bruised from hitting the wall? Are you trying to pick up the pieces of life and figure out how they fit together again? I recently heard someone refer to this as being heartsick. What a perfect, albeit lousy, word for this. If you are heartsick, this prayer is for you.

To God,

The Giver of Life,
The Sustainer,
The God who sees me:

Sometimes the path seems so clear. It’s as if we heard your voice saying, “This is the way; walk in it.” But what happens when following that path suddenly slams us against a wall? Did we not hear or understand your voice?

The wall has been hit. Dreams have been crushed. Why did you let them believe that was the path for them? You let them get so passionate and excited for what you had in store, why did you then take their dream away? You’ve left them broken. You’ve left them heartsick. Were they hearing your voice? Did they misunderstand something? Were they misled somehow and it wasn’t you speaking?

And then, Lord, what is next?

They have broken pieces of a dream how do they recover? How do they know they can trust when they think they hear you speak again? Lord, would you help pick up the broken pieces? Will you step into these broken dreams, these hurt lives, and will you show them that you have a plan?

God, we are not in control. But we know that you are the God who created the world; the God who holds all things, including our lives, in the palm of his hand.

All we can do is trust you.

All we can do is believe that you are who you say you are and that you will do what you say you will do.

God, would you heal this brokenness? Would you plant the seed of a new dream? Even though it will be young and tender and fragile right now, would help this dream to grow? 

I’m linking up with the soli deo gloria sisterhood:

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by claygirlsings on June 18, 2013  •  Permalink
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Posted by claygirlsings on June 18, 2013

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Listen for His Voice

Photo credit: abrinsky (Creative Commons)

Daughter.

My Child?

Sweetheart, don’t you hear me?

I’m not talking in the whirlwind, and thunder and quaking earth.¹

Hush. The stillness. I am whispering to you in the quiet.

But, so often, you are rushing from one event to another, busyness on busyness. I’m harder to hear with the hustle and bustle of life buzzing in your ears. I’m still here and still speaking to you, but you’re no longer listening.

Dear one, stop, please.

Listen.

…………………

Gracious, that 5 minutes went fast! I’m clearly not a fast writer. Read more FMF posts on today’s prompt: Listen.

¹Super cool story when God spoke to Elijah in I Kings 19:9-18.

I’m linking up with:

Five Minute Friday

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by claygirlsings on June 14, 2013  •  Permalink
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Posted by claygirlsings on June 14, 2013

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On Being Content with my Writing

Content2013This was not the post I expected to write for contentment. However, being content includes having satisfaction in who I am, warts and all as it were. So, in an exercise of contentment with my writing, I present my first foray into Five Minute Friday (FMF).

FMF is a collection of bloggers who join in a Twitter chat on Thursday evenings to get the writing prompt for Friday. The rules are to set a timer and write for 5 minutes only, no extreme editing or rewriting – and then share it with the world. Gulp.

Not to reread and rewrite and tweak and fix and make everything perfect – do you see why this is a lesson in being content?

And so, without further ado, I’m setting my timer…

FMF prompt: Fall.

My neighbor just started up her mower. It’s loud at first, but then settles into white noise while I think about fall. What a contrast to the heat of summer about to come. Fall, with that crispness in the air and the colors of the leaves. I think what I love about fall is the change.

You know, most of the time we fight change. We don’t want people to leave us or us to leave them. We resist starting something new.

But sometimes change is what we need. That fresh start to begin again or to give us a new outlook on whatever problem we’re facing.

Fall signals that change is coming. It’s winter and death, but that too will change in time. Spring, rebirth, new life is ahead. We can be glad for the changes because as believers they are merely seasons leading us to eternal spring.

Fall Leaves

Well, there you have it. I’m content for now, but I do prefer cleaning up and rewriting posts. That’s for another day.

I’m linking up to FMF. There’s a slew of other bloggers who wrote about fall in many different ways, including different definitions of the word. Check ‘em out!
Five Minute Friday

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by claygirlsings on June 7, 2013  •  Permalink
Posted in Content, OneWord365
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Posted by claygirlsings on June 7, 2013

http://claygirlsings.wordpress.com/2013/06/07/on-being-content-with-my-writing/

It’s Time to Call a Do-Over

Do you ever find yourself heading in one direction and, while it’s just not working out, you are reluctant to switch courses?

As kids, we had a word for that. You need a do-over.

The sun got in my eyes; I call do-over!
I was laughing too hard at her joke; do-over!
I wasn’t ready! Do-over!

It seems as adults, we feel the weight of failure if we realize the pinterest project isn’t going right or plans we made aren’t falling into place. For some reason, it’s harder, now that we’re grown up, to admit we sometimes need to call a do-over.

I’ve come to realize I need a do-over as June begins. I chose a One Word 365 in January. And it was good great! But the things God is teaching me this year have taken a different direction. I have wanted to blog about my One Word, but it’s taken a backseat to other lessons that hit closer to home.

So, I’m changing my word:

I’ve been trying to cultivate more grace in my life, to recognize grace when it’s given and to accept it as a gift from others and from God. Some days are more successful than others. Recently, I was flipping through a new devotional book on the subject, when something completely different smacked me upside the head.

The first chapter talked about Psalm 23 and there it was, in question #7 – Content. Are you content with what God has given you? Is what you have enough to be satisfied?

Oy.

I have learned the secret of being content.
No, not me. Paul said that.
I have so far to go.

But I realized that he figured it out. This is it. This is the secret, if I can get a hold of it. This is the key. So, I’m going to spend the rest of the year with Content as my One Word 365.

I’m not even sure yet what I’m going to say on contentment.  Even as I read that devotional, I thought to myself, “I’ll probably forget it tomorrow, but this – right now – this is it. This is the secret. I need to remember this.”

Will you walk with me through the latter half of the year as we discuss being content?

What have you learned about being content in your life?

Is there a direction you’ve been heading that you need to change? Is it time for you to call a do-over?

Content2013

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by claygirlsings on June 4, 2013  •  Permalink
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Posted by claygirlsings on June 4, 2013

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With my soul – it must be well

It is Well with My Soul

Photo credit: and12ey (Creative Commons)

When peace like a river attendeth my way
When sorrows like sea billows roll
Whatever my lot
Thou hast taught me to say
It is well; it is well with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet
Though trials should come
Let this blessed assurance control
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate
And has shed his own blood for my soul.

It is well with my soul;
It is well with my soul;
It is well; it is well with my soul.

We sang this in Karis a month ago. By the second chorus I had tears rolling down my face and could no longer sing.

At times I feel so miserable in my life and yet I don’t know what it means to suffer like Horatio Spafford, the author of the song.

Do you know the story behind this song? Delayed by business concerns, Horatio put his wife and children on a boat to Europe ahead of him. A shipwreck, then a rescue, led to Horatio receiving this telegram from his wife: Saved alone. All of their daughters died in the shipwreck. As Horatio crossed the Atlantic to join his wife in Europe, he wrote this song.

If he, and so many others like him, can face losses like that and still glorify God, what excuse do I have? How can I not say, ‘it is well my soul?’

It must be well with my soul, even though I feel terrible.

It must be well.

It has to be well.

Christ shed his blood for me and my sin…

oh, the bliss of this glorious thought
My sin, not in part, but the whole
Has been nailed to the cross
And I bear it no more
Praise the Lord – PRAISE THE LORD! – Oh, my soul!

This morning, my cousin, his wife, my mom and I will sing this at my Aunt Ruth’s funeral service. Because Aunt Ruth believed Jesus is Lord and that God raised him from the dead, we know she is in heaven and that those of us who also believe will see her again one day. In that day, there will be no more tears, or sorrow, or death.

And, Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll
The trump shall resound
And the Lord shall descend
Even so, it is well with my soul.

It is well.

It must be well.

It has to be well.

It is well with my soul.

This comforts me in the anguish of my soul. May it also comfort and encourage you.

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by claygirlsings on May 6, 2013  •  Permalink
Posted in Christian Walk, Faith, God, Worship
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Posted by claygirlsings on May 6, 2013

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I Messed Up (and so did you)

Splash

Photo credit: Yashna M (Creative Commons)

I screwed up. Again.

Not just again, as if I’ve made this same mistake before. Again, meaning I did this last week, yesterday, even mere hours ago.

Sin.

I try to be the good girl and even succeed in making most people think I’ve got it all together. But it’s a lie. Whoops, see, there I go again.

Try as hard as I may, I can’t do it.

Be good.

God looks down from heaven
on the children of man
to see if there are any who understand,
who seek after God.

They have all fallen away;
together they have become corrupt;
there is none who does good,
not even one.

Psalm 53 lays it out so clearly, doesn’t it? There is none who does good, not even one. Ouch.

Yet,

Isn’t that a comfort? Didn’t you feel a little relief to hear that I screwed up? Again?

Because, here’s a little known secret.

You can’t do good either.

Oh, you knew that already, didn’t you?

But with your sin tucked away so no one will see, you look at me, at your neighbor, at your friend, and think we’ve got it all together. She would never struggle with this sin. He would never screw up like I have.

Wrong-O.

No one does good. All have fallen away.

Oh, that salvation for Israel would come out of Zion!
When God restores the fortunes of his people,
let Jacob rejoice, let Israel be glad.

The Psalmist cries out for hope in that last verse. And hope comes, in the shape of the God-man, Jesus. One, without sin and secret screw-ups, took on the consequences of our sin.

For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard. Yet God, with undeserved kindness, declares that we are righteous. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins. For God presented Jesus as the sacrifice for sin. People are made right with God when they believe that Jesus sacrificed his life, shedding his blood. This sacrifice shows that God was being fair when he held back and did not punish those who sinned in times past, for he was looking ahead and including them in what he would do in this present time. God did this to demonstrate his righteousness, for he himself is fair and just, and he declares sinners to be right in his sight when they believe in Jesus. Romans 3:23-26

So rather than despairing, hope. The salvation David cries out for in the Psalm is come.

—–

I’m linking up with Everyday Awe today:

Psalms

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by claygirlsings on April 30, 2013  •  Permalink
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Posted by claygirlsings on April 30, 2013

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Stepping Out of Your Skin

Black Dragon

Photo credit: akunite_reqium_sol (Creative Commons)

It’s time for some serious scab-picking. Yup, gross. Stick with me.

The nicest visualization I can think of comes from C.S. Lewis’ The Voyage of The Dawn Treader. Eustace Scrubb, a most annoying, spoiled boy has managed to become a dragon. I know, right? If you don’t know how that easily that could happen, please read the book.

On the last night before everyone else will be forced to leave him behind, Eustace finds himself confronted by a lion. Not just any lion, mind you, it’s Aslan himself. Aslan tells him that he must scrape off the dragon skin to become a boy again. Eustace takes his dragon claws and scrapes. It hurts a little; but continuing on, he eventually steps out and sees a full, ugly, scaly dragon skin lying on the ground. What a relief! But, wait! He catches his reflection in a pool and – he’s still a dragon! He starts scraping again; this time it’s deeper and more painful, with an even nastier skin left behind. He looks into the pond again and despairs to see a dragon still looking back at him.

Finally, Aslan moves forward. He gently offers to do the scraping, but warns that it will hurt even more than before. Eustace agrees. And C. S. Lewis describes an agonizing ordeal that burns and aches, rendering the boy tender and exposed to the core. Then Aslan scoops him up and tosses him into the water which first burns, then cools and soothes. When Eustace emerges, he is a boy again.

(Seriously, go to your library, find the book and read this passage. It’s moving. The movie did a fair job with the effects on this scene; but it’s still better in the book.)

God’s been moving in my heart in good and painful ways. There are scaly layers of pain, grime and the crust of the world on me. It took me finally facing my dragonness to fully acknowledge that I needed to scrape away these layers. But in my feeble strength, I only flicked away a surface layer of filth. It hurt. A little. Perhaps my pride was most wounded. Trying harder did little more.

Now, by faith, with prayer, I give up. It’s time to allow God to do the scraping. It’s agony at times. I keep wanting to take the job back on myself. I do pull away and have to submit yet again to what hurts but ultimately brings healing. Hopefully in the future I will find the boldness to share more of this story.

Where are you? Do you find yourself still comfortable where you are? Are you trying to clean yourself up in your own strength? Or are you with me in the agonizing pulling away of dead flesh, waiting for the newness to come? No matter where you are in the process, your strength is not enough. Turn to God and ask him to help you.

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by claygirlsings on April 23, 2013  •  Permalink
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Posted by claygirlsings on April 23, 2013

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On a personal note

My poor neglected blog readers. I’m so sorry. Since I don’t have a more serious post ready to go, here’s a brief update on my life lately.

Last week, my husband and I were in Dallas. Here’s a peek at a few things we go to do:

Tom w/Chuck Swindoll

We met Chuck Swindoll. He was so kind and even autographed a book for Tom. I got a little emotional after I told him how my dad used to listen to him on the radio when I was a kid. I essentially grew up listening to Chuck Swindoll’s voice.

plane

We went flying in a tiny Cessna 182! I had fun taking photos from the back seat. Here are a few of my favorites (I only took 170+):

DSCF0047 (300x222)DSCF0077 (300x216)

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Tom got to fly the plane over Dallas airspace! It was a little crazy, but so fun. Here’s Tom with his cousin, the pilot, and his plane.

cousins

The real reason we were in Dallas was for the Mac Tools Tool Fair. Part of it included the Macademy Awards. I know, right? Tom got one award that we knew about, but it shocked him to find out that he was honored with the Founder’s Award for volunteer work in his community.

FoundersAward

Here we are chatting with Brett Shaw, president of Mac Tools, and totally ignoring Chip Foose, reality TV host of Overhaulin’ (sorry, Chip!).

We had a great trip!

We returned home and settled into a normal routine until Wednesday. That’s when author Mary DeMuth shared a raw, honest, breathtaking post, How do you forgive a sexual abuser? By writing a letter, where she wrote an open letter to the two brothers who molested her as a child. This post rocked me – not just because of the audacity of someone to harm a child like that, but the healing and forgiveness that oozes from Mary’s words. She tells these two brothers:

I forgive you.

My mountain of sins toward a holy God dwarfs the molehills you enacted against me.

Man, that’s powerful stuff. And you just can’t say that in your own strength. That comes from someone who is leaning wholeheartedly on God. Amazing.

I also may have the opportunity to do some blogging for World Help. That offer just came tonight, so I’m curious to learn more. World Help is a faith-based humanitarian organization. They’re involved with child sponsorships, church planting, clean water projects, a baby rescue operation and so much more. Tom and I have known about World Help since its infancy when we lived in Virginia. It’s exciting to see how much it has grown.

Thanks for following along with this personal update. I’ll leave you with a nice shot of Tom and me all dressed up for the Macademy Awards (oh, and there was a red carpet, too!). And since no one took a full length shot of me, these were the awesome shoes I wore! :)

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by claygirlsings on March 8, 2013  •  Permalink
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Posted by claygirlsings on March 8, 2013

http://claygirlsings.wordpress.com/2013/03/08/on-a-personal-note/

No Time To Grumble

Is the glass half empty or half full?

Photo credit: Cali4beach (Creative Commons)

There’s a tendency in me to grumble and complain. It’s easier for me to see the dark side than the light. The glass is half empty. The penny is tails up.

I’ve been reading through the Pentateuch recently – the first five books of the Bible, containing the Law. Where most of the Thou Shalts and Thou Shalt Nots are found. The Israelites? Yeah, they knew a thing or two about grumbling.

They’re freed from slavery, but Moses brought them to the desert to starve. They’re given food in the desert, but there’s no meat. They find a place to rest, but the water’s bad. God guides them daily with fire or a cloud, but he’s led them out there to die.

The story that really gets me is Korah’s rebellion in Numbers 16. This guy, Korah, gets 250 men to rebel against Moses. And God’s like, Oh no, you didn’t. So he warns Moses and Aaron that he’s going to punish the rebels and for everyone to stay clear of them. Then fire comes from heaven and kills Korah and the ground opens up and swallows the rebels and all their possessions. Hello? Get the picture, Israel? Don’t mess with God!

Then Numbers 16:41 – this blows me away, if I didn’t see the seeds of it in myself – “But on the next day all the congregation of the people of Israel grumbled against Moses and against Aaron…” The VERY. NEXT. DAY.  This time there was no warning, God just started punishing them with a plague. Moses and Aaron rush out to make atonement for the people, but before the plague is stopped over 14,000 people die.

When I read Psalm 44 in light of the passage in Numbers, two things jump out at me:

1) This psalm is attributed to the sons of Korah. Descendants of the one who began that rebellion.

2) The flow of the psalm makes it appear that maybe they have learned from the past.

So these sons of Korah are obviously undergoing some challenging circumstance. They talk about being rejected and disgraced. They have lost battles against their enemies and been sold into slavery. They say that people laugh at them and scorn them. It’s a rough time.

But they don’t grumble. The psalm is book-ended, beginning and end, with hope. It begins with a reminder of all that God has done in the past, deeds performed in days of old. And it ends with a call for God to come to their rescue and redeem them once again.

If I spend more time remembering all that God has done in the past and asking for him to help with the challenges I face today, I don’t think I’d have time for grumbling. It’s time to start seeing the glass as half full and to recognize that, heads or tails, I found a penny!

~~~
I’m Walking Through the Psalms at Everyday Awe.

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by claygirlsings on February 21, 2013  •  Permalink
Posted in #1000Gifts, God, Psalms
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Posted by claygirlsings on February 21, 2013

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When a Friend Betrays You

bread and wine #1

Photo credit: khrawlings (Creative Commons)

Do know the sting of having someone you once trusted turn on you? If so, you can relate to King David. And the son of God, Jesus Christ. They were both betrayed by a friend.

David’s trusted friend and adviser was a man named Ahithophel. Ahithophel was so wise that the Bible says his counsel was considered as if one consulted the word of God. When David’s son, Absalom, revolted and tried to steal the throne, Ahithophel switched sides and began counseling Absalom. That had to hurt, to put it mildly. The story ends badly for everyone, and Ahithophel ended up committing suicide. You can read the full story in 2 Samuel 15-18.

David’s 41st Psalm seems to touch on the pain that Ahithophel caused:

Even my close friend in whom I trusted, who ate my bread, has lifted his heel against me.

Similarly, Jesus had a friend he trusted sufficiently enough to handle the financial affairs. When this friend, Judas, betrayed him, it was to sell him out to the people who wanted to kill him. Jesus’ words about Judas echo David’s:

I am not speaking of all of you; I know whom I have chosen. But the Scripture will be fulfilled, ‘He who ate my bread has lifted his heel against me.’ I am telling you this now, before it takes place, that when it does take place you may believe that I am he. Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever receives the one I send receives me, and whoever receives me receives the one who sent me.” After saying these things, Jesus was troubled in his spirit, and testified, “Truly, truly, I say to you, one of you will betray me.” The disciples looked at one another, uncertain of whom he spoke. One of his disciples, whom Jesus loved, was reclining at table at Jesus’ side, so Simon Peter motioned to him to ask Jesus of whom he was speaking. So that disciple, leaning back against Jesus, said to him, “Lord, who is it?” Jesus answered, “It is he to whom I will give this morsel of bread when I have dipped it.” So when he had dipped the morsel, he gave it to Judas, the son of Simon Iscariot. Then after he had taken the morsel, Satan entered into him. Jesus said to him, “What you are going to do, do quickly.” Now no one at the table knew why he said this to him. Some thought that, because Judas had the moneybag, Jesus was telling him, “Buy what we need for the feast,” or that he should give something to the poor. So, after receiving the morsel of bread, he immediately went out.

This song by Michael Card touches on that betrayal.

I’m studying Psalm 41 this week and the ending gets me.

But you, O Lord, be gracious to me,
and raise me up, that I may repay them!
By this I know that you delight in me:
my enemy will not shout in triumph over me.
But you have upheld me because of my integrity,
and set me in your presence forever.
Blessed be the Lord, the God of Israel,
from everlasting to everlasting!
Amen and Amen.

Yes, David asks to be able to repay the one who betrayed him. Which of us wouldn’t want revenge in a similar circumstance? I’m not saying it’s right, but it is a very human response (one we don’t see in the story of Jesus and Judas, by the way). But David first asks God to be gracious to him. We need that grace of God to help us when our own bitter feelings get the best of us.

He ends with praise and blessing on the Lord, the God of Israel. May we all, if or when we are betrayed by a friend, ask God to be gracious to us and bless his name instead of trying to get even.

I’m Walking Through the Psalms at Everyday Awe. Psalm 41 was a toughie. Join me next week for Psalm 42.

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by claygirlsings on January 31, 2013  •  Permalink
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Posted by claygirlsings on January 31, 2013

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