Day 1: When You Need A Friend

I’m not friends with you anymore!

Ah, playground dynamics – where you find out who’s still friends with whom. I remember a day when someone I thought was a close friend decided she wasn’t friends with me anymore. Oh, how that cut to the heart!

If you’ve read my About Me page, you’ll see that I have moved a lot. The bulk of those moves were to new cities or states where I arrived knowing only my husband and dog. Aside from the gruesome job of unpacking, there were always a few items on my “to do” list:

  • learn my way around the neighborhood
  • figure out where to find the grocery store, bank, mall, library, etc.
  • apply for a new job
  • search for a new church
  • find a friend!

For anyone who has found themselves in want of a friend, there is a lot of loneliness involved. The reasons change after grade school:

  • A transfer at work puts you in a new department,
  • a marital status change finds you alone with couples or no longer hanging with your single friends,
  • a switch in your small group finds you separated from close friends, or
  • maybe even your closest friend is the one moving.

Regardless of the reason, you’ve found yourself alone and without, as Anne Shirley would say, a kindred spirit. These aren’t hard issues necessarily, but they still leave you aching for that missing companion.

Pray this prayer with me today:

Father, our hearts have holes that ache and bleed. The loss of a familiar friend leaves us so alone. At times we may think there is no one who sees us or cares about us as we go through each day. Tears come, but there’s no one to see the tears and offer comfort. 

Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: it is of the Lord’s mercies that we are not consumed. Your compassions fail not; they are new every morning (Lam. 3:21-26).

God, the times that we feel so alone, remind us of your presence and that your Spirit is given as Comforter. I beg you to bring a friend into each life, someone with whom to grow and share joys & sorrows. Help us to be bold and reach out to others to get to know them and be friendly to someone else who may need a friend.

Please ease the loneliness in each of our hearts. Help us to laugh again.

In the name of Jesus, Amen.

While the ache feels so lonely, I can promise that you are not alone in feeling this way.

Have you gone through a period of where you felt like you had no close friends? What helped you through it?


This is Day 1 of 31 Days of Prayer for the Hurting (click to find links to the entire series). If you know someone who struggles with loneliness of needing a friend, would you share this post with them? If you are feeling the loss of friendship and wish to share it in the comments, I will pray for you today.

To read more great 31 Dayer posts, check out the linky hosted by The Nester.

Leave a comment


  1. Janice, I always so enjoy your blog posts! Thanks for sharing your heart.

  2. Ethel Miller

     /  October 2, 2012

    Many of you may not realize how growing older (as in retired) creates many struggles with the need of a kindred spirit. I am thankful and thank the Lord for those who have been my kindred spirit in the past. But we move on and aging has it’s own sets of circumstances that makes the “hole” seem to be there most of the time. Lack of mobility, illness, separation from family, changes in relationships because of incompatibility to name a few. There is a restless that comes that I know Jesus wants to and can fill. But so often this gets neglected too. It’s good to know that Jesus not only is the Friend of sinners, but that he wants to be my best Friend. So, I am encouraged to follow this month on claygirlsings blog. Thanks for reaching out to us.

  3. Vanessa

     /  October 2, 2012

    I remember that I either had a Best Friend or moved and wanted one. At some point…high school I think. I know longer had a best friend. I even had one friend I did the most with and seemed to have the most in common. If you used the term “best friend” you were being a kid. I have not had a “Best Friend” since then. I know my hubby is my best friend and that the Lord has brought us together to be one. I believe I share the most with him. My dog, Blackberry, is a best friend to me as we’ve been together for over 12 years. Still, I miss having a woman’s friendship as a best friend.

    • I totally understand about needing a woman’s friendship. It’s just different than a husband – as great as he may be. 🙂 I think, for me, it has to do with risk. I’m not as willing to risk and open my heart up as I may have when younger. I have a couple borderline best friends right now and I have to really push to make those relationships real and deeper than just surface stuff. It’s hard; but it’s worth it though.

  4. Maria Dupuis

     /  January 2, 2013

    I am so happy your mom reminded me to read your blog, I am not much of a reader but really enjoyed Day 1 of your blog already. I can’t wait to read more and catch up on the others. The topic of friendship reminded me of a friend I lost in 2012. She did not physically die but apparently her desire to continue a friendship with me did. She never explained why she stopped communicating, excuses of school and famiily demands were mentioned but I think it is deeper than that. WE spoke daily and I miss her dearly now. I often think of her and say a prayer for her happiness. I have thought about sending her a card but have decided to stop reaching out to her. Your blog made me stop and reflect on the happiness her conversations brought to my life.


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  • Hi, I'm Janice. I'm part bookworm and part creative. I love both science and music (and the science of music). I'm stumbling around trying to grow closer to God. Click the photo to read more about me.

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