Ugh, seriously, Lisa-Jo? Broken? I’ve been trying to write about being broken all week. Since my story needs more than 5 minutes for the whole, here, in 5 minutes, is a glimpse at what broken looked like for me last week:
On Day Two of a weeklong commitment, turning to your husband and declaring, “I’m done. I’m ready to go home.”
Facedown on your bed, silent tears streaming out, leaving makeup smudges on the sheets. Those smudges serve as reminders of the depths for the rest of the week.
Heart pouring out to God, declaring utter helplessness, complete desperation and total failure to handle things on your own.
Daily tears, daily surrendering self to God again. And again. And again.
Getting smacked in the face with temptation, seemingly out of the blue. You didn’t even see it coming and yet, HELLO – wouldn’t you like to give this a try? (correct answer = no).
Running to your heavenly Father in complete abandon, throwing yourself on his extravagant grace to see you through each moment of every day.
admitting to yourself that you are not your own Savior. That the thing you desire is not your Savior. That the person who means the most to you is not your Savior.
relying on grace.
Whew. Broken is hard.
Can you tell this is just the tip of the iceberg? If/when I get a more complete post on brokenness and how it happened with me at camp this year, I’ll add the link here.
Want to read more FMF posts about Broken? Check out Lisa-Jo Baker’s Facebook page. I guess her blog is broken, how apropos.