Saying “I love you” without words (the Secret of the Snickers)

My dad was a lover not a fighter.

He was.¬†He was a lover. A big softie. ūüėÄ

And he was a huge gift giver.

Pick a year (any year), look at one photo from Christmas in our house and you would understand. You would see a brightly decorated tree with a flood of gifts underneath it and spilling out on all sides. Every year we had to remove bottom rows of branches from our artificial tree because there would not be room for all the gifts if we put all the branches on the tree. Stockings on Christmas morning were often laid on the floor in front of the fireplace because they were overflowing with “stuffers.” It was not unusual to find a stocking overflow bag with someone’s name on it. Serious gift overload.

Yes, Dad loved to give. Dad would write poems, give flowers, wrap up gifts. 

But the Snickers bars were the most interesting thing of all.

candy bar

On any random day Dad would come home with a Snickers bar for Mom. No pomp and circumstance, just ‘Here’s a Snickers I bought you.’ Sometimes they were just left on the dining room table to be found. Mom was always pleased to get them. I remember thinking once or twice, ‘Wow, Mom really loves Snickers, doesn’t she?’ Months might go by, but eventually, there would be another Snickers.

As my sister and I got older there started to appear three Snickers bars instead of one: one bar for each of his girls. What teenager will turn up her nose at chocolate? We thought it was pretty cool but, y’know, whatever.

It wasn’t until a few years after Dad passed away that Mom let me in on the secret. A Snickers bar was their secret sign, a private way of saying ‘I love you’ that wouldn’t mean a thing to anyone else except the two of them.¬†Every time he brought home a Snickers, he was telling Mom, in their special way, how much he loved her.

It reminds me how important it is to tell our loved ones that they are just that – loved. Not just on special days like Valentines Day, but on the random days. On a day when the roast burned because the baby was crying. On a day when a dad soothed his sick toddler at 3am. On a day when nothing special happened and nothing terrible occurred. On a day like today and yesterday.

Maybe you need a secret sign between you and the one your heart loves, like a Snickers. Maybe it’s a peanut butter cup or a special IPA. Maybe it’s a back rub or knee squeeze. Obviously, make it something your special someone likes or you might end up in the doghouse.

Don’t forget to tell them. A secret sign does no good, if the person doesn’t realize what you’re trying to say.

Whether it’s with a Snickers or a kiss (the chocolate kind, right?), look for creative ways to say, “I love you.”

What secret ways can you think of to say, “I love you?”

 

Today, I’m linking up with:

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The Lover Of Your Soul Sings Over You

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(Photo credit: flickr-rickr)

Here’s the thing, just as money can’t buy happiness, having a love in your life doesn’t guarantee you will feel loved.

It just doesn’t.

There is only One who loves perfectly. No other love will satisfy. Not fully. Not forever. The whole “you complete me” bit? It’s only gonna be found in one place, and that’s God.

He is your bridegroom, singing over his Beloved.

I adore this song by Kari Jobe. It’s a prayer, one that the Lover of your soul sings for you throughout Scripture.

Listen to it and read the lyrics below. There are verses embedded throughout this song, some of which I’ve listed by each line. If you mouse over them, you’ll see the phrases that are echoing throughout the Bible – a love song for you.

Soak in this prayer by your Bridegroom:

(more…)

The wedding of all weddings

photo credit: Leanna Grove

photo credit: Leanna Grove

Christmas is coming?

True, but there’s a more exciting event happening this weekend. The wedding everyone has been talking about.

Brooke & Nick tie the knot.

What?

You haven’t been following this celebrity couple’s wedding plans? You’re missing out.

But the hoopla about to happen this weekend isn’t just about two crazy kids getting hitched. It’s way bigger. (more…)

Outside of time, into eternity

Most of us are vigilantly aware of time. How fast it goes while on vacation or how slow it moves when stuck in class or a meeting. There’s a great conversation about time and timelessness between C. S. Lewis and Sheldon Vanauken in my favorite book, A Severe Mercy. Vanauken writes:

Time is our natural environment. We live in time as we live in the air we breathe. And we love the air–who has not taken deep breaths of pure, fresh country air, just for the pleasure of it? How strange that we cannot love time. It spoils our loveliest moments.

He goes on to quote from a letter C. S. Lewis wrote him,

Do fish complain of the sea for being wet? Or if they did, would that fact itself not strongly suggest that they had not always been, or would not always be, purely aquatic creatures? (more…)

An expected, yet surprising proposal

Did you read yesterday’s post? It was the first half of a big Valentine’s Day date that Tom and I had 14 years ago. When you last left us, we were in the car headed to Manassas, VA, just outside of Washington, D.C. and I was fairly sure Tom would propose at some point in the evening.

What part of this sentence is not realistic: ¬†Let’s drive up to D.C. on Valentine’s Day and just randomly pick a restaurant and expect to get a table without having to wait and with no reservations?¬†Have you ever tried to go out for dinner, especially in a big city, on Valentine’s Day? Restaurants are packed that night, and even more so when Feb. 14¬†falls on a Saturday! It was at this point that I apparently took leave of my senses. Blinded by love, perhaps. I cannot explain it.

What I knew: ¬†We arrived (more…)

When a stranger on the phone is a good thing

“Tom’s going to be late, but you have a package outside your door.”

These words, heard over the phone in a strange male voice, were odd words. Odd because A) it was 8am, not normal package delivery times; and B) Tom is never late.

It was Saturday, Valentine’s Day, 1998. Tom and I had a full day planned: breakfast at a local restaurant, cavern exploring in the Shenandoah Valley, and ending with a dress-up dinner near Washington D.C. I’m a sufficient enough control freak that I liked (more…)

  • Hi, I'm Janice. I'm part bookworm and part creative. I love both science and music (and the science of music). I'm stumbling around trying to grow closer to God. Click the photo to read more about me.

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