The words aren’t coming tonight.

*thinks a moment*

Nope, they just aren’t there. I have a ton of thoughts in my head, but none that make sense working on this series. So, I’m dumping out the words as they pop into my head and we’ll see where they take us.

I’m feeling quite a bit like a failure tonight.

Not just for my lack of coherence with the blog, but in not staying disciplined to work on house-related things, in lacking the stamina to continue vacuuming out water from the (still) flooded basement, for not planning out meals for the rest of the week (church friends have graciously helped out with meals every other day for the past 10 days), for not organizing the mess that sits around me – remnants of the stuff brought upstairs by helpful friends, for falling behind in my volunteer work for church, for not leading others well, for complaining again & again.

For giving into temptation again & again. For giving up hope again & again. For believing the lies repeatedly.

I’m tired. I’m worn.

I don’t have beautifully strung out words for you tonight. I don’t have the answers tonight. I don’t have the solution to the problems. I do have a laundry list of problems.

I do know the answer is in Christ. I know the eternal picture makes sense, even when this temporal view is jacked up.

May you be strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy, giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in light. He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins. — Colossians 1:11-14

I think this may have been crushing the kingdom of I-have-it-all-together. Or, at least, that’s my best guess.

Today was just one random day of: